The Effects of the Britt World Wide Motivational Organization on my Financial and Social Being

Introduction

This document expresses my observations and personal experiences in the Britt World Wide (BWW) motivational organization affiliated with Quixtar (and formerly Amway; however the latter has been replaced by the former in USA). In brief, I have observed many cult-like tactics to hold members and accumulate wealth for the upper level distributors while the lower level distributors were a constant flux of different people; the ‘revolving door’ as it is often called on early tapes. I have also observed a lot of twisted Biblical doctrines, which were eventually the catalyst for my leaving the organization. I have incurred a large amount of debt for my activities, all of which was my choice, though I was operating by a system of mind control which has been highly described throughout many testimonies and also will be further disclosed within. Although I left this organization for spiritual reasons, that will not be the direct focus of this document. This document is designed to show the social and financial implications of being involved in this particular network. I will produce a separate document at a later date to detail the spiritual aspect.

Since this business is such a financial burden to so many people, it merits knowing where I stood financially prior to this business. I was in my final year in college. At this point, I had in Mutual Funds: $8,136.74. In student loans, I had $5891.81. I had no credit card debt, no other outstanding loans or fees. My savings was insignificant, I was meeting all my costs of living with my employment; thus I was not going into debt. My total net worth at this time was $2244.93 and my final semester in college was paid for; thus, I was leaving college with a positive net worth.

About the format of this document:

The document is broken down by month. I have any details that I remember for most of the months, some journal entries, a few notes from functions, and a year end summary.

• Journals: These are selected portions of my writing over the years of involvement. Although I do not hold these writings to be true any longer, I have included them so that you can see what my mindset was during BWW involvement. I left them mostly unaltered except correcting spelling mistakes. Anything that is in parenthesis was also in parenthesis in the journal. Anything in square brackets is a comment or detail that I added during this writing for clarity. It should be noted that the teachings of the BWW system are what inspired the mindset for these entries.
• Notes: Unfortunately, after I decided to quit the business, I threw away most of my notes, but a few have been retained. What I wrote in the few months of notes is truly representative of what we were taught all throughout the years. It is this teaching that has lead to the mindset that I had while writing the journal portions.
• Summary: Although the Quixtar purchases were often not necessities to me, I did NOT include them in the cost of the summary (except the shipping where I had a number) because I feel it would weigh too heavy against the point and is difficult to objectively state whether such products were needed or not. When they were truly not needed, I tried to note that in the month description.
• BWW Purchases: Although I was on Standing Order non stop, the purchase detail is when I was actually billed. There is a discrepancy since I was so far from the team, I only got tools on drives up so that I did not incur extra shipping fees. Although I bought many booklist items from a local bookstore (and would NOT have bought them if I was not in BWW), I did not include those since the profits did not go to BWW.

Pre-Registration Period

The first time I saw ‘the plan’ as they call it, I went to a meeting with a friend, whom also did not know what he was really getting into either. The presentation was conducted by Marshall Johnson, a Diamond in David Taylor’s (EDC) organization. What I saw honestly did not make any real sense to me. I heard about the concept of buying more and more and then making money back. I was at that time purchasing vitamins from Health Edge (now Thropp’s Nutribest). I had a distributor number simply to get wholesale prices. No one ever showed me that organization, I had stumbled on them while looking for a good vitamin. I showed this similarity to my friend and decided at that time that I was not interested. My friend went to the follow-up and got started. When his product pack finally arrived, the products said “Amway” on them. His sponsor came over that day and my friend set him down and asked why he did not say it was Amway. The man said “I showed you a way to make $250,000 in 2-5 years. Why do you care what it is called?

I went on to my next semester in college and my friend went on to the same plus business. Due to a rigorous girlfriend / business schedule, I rarely saw him and only occasionally talked on ICQ. He started to tell me about the nutritional supplements which I was not interested since mine were much cheaper and suited my needs, however, I did not have access to Co-Q10 which he did. He came over and signed me up as a member.

It was the last day of that semester, December 15^th, 2000, that my friend had someone coming over for a quick follow-up and the girlfriend was away. I went over to his house to play some cards and talk for the evening. I watched the follow-up when the person arrived. I was a very lonely and hurting person at that time. I was in need of support and friends. I saw my friend do the follow-up and I saw a way to be part of a group. The next morning, I was the first one up. I was eating Happy Days (Critics Choice brand for Lucky Charms) and I thought “How weird would it be to raise a family that knows only Critics Choice and not the common brands that everyone else knows about”. I concluded that it does not matter what brand cereal or anything else you use [this was curiously significant for leaving the business as well, as I was rigorously trained that Quixtar products are the best. I found out that many are actuallu worse!]. I figured that I might as well do this thing since my friend is doing it, how bad could it be?

Registration Night

I had some errands to run that day so I left, but I asked my friend to stop by my house that night. Mind you that I did not even understand the plan the night I saw the business which was about six months prior. He did a follow-up with me where he ran through the ‘8 Team Player Steps” (later the 9^th was added, see appendix). The follow-up is conducted in a manner where you outline a whole lot of passions and dreams that the other person has and then draw out that it takes talking to about 100 people to get about 3 people that stay and build the business and they ask “Are you going to let these 97 people keep you from your dreams?” Of course you say ‘no’. That was it; I was ready to sign up. I had a problem though. The product pack plus registration was about $100 at the time. I only had about $60 in my checking account at that time. My friend gave me a $20 dollar bill to repay me for the membership I bought and I got the registration kit, but not the product pack. My sponsor gave me RP891; Private Franchising in a Dot Com World to listen to, which I did. I gave it back after listening to it for a while and he gave me more tapes to listen to. After about a week or two of listening to tapes, I was starting to get irritated about the things they were saying and the values they seemed to demonstrate. I would learn later from Steve Hassen’s writings that this was me trying to reject faulty input from the speakers as being true. I eventually broke down and started to accept the tapes as truth.

Before the end of the year

I told my sponsor that I was not going to begin to build until the New Year had begun, though I did attend any meetings up to that time. It was December 27, 2000 that I attended my first team training. My upline EDC was Dave Taylor (I will leave out the rest of the LOS; available upon request). I remember many things from that night, mostly my Emerald saying that many people buy ‘ineffective’ products at the store for a little less and then end up buying more and more and ‘bleed themselves to death’ buying crap products. This was getting me fired up to make my purchases of my own products! The Winter Conference, AKA Dream Weekend was only a few days away, so everyone was promoting it. My sponsor asked if I was going to go and I told him that I didn’t have the money. He asked if I could come up with enough for the bus and hotel room and then he would get me the ticket. I said I could do that, so I went.

The First Year - 2001

January 2001

This month started out with a weekend conference. With my knowledge now, this conference had all the appearances of an indoctrination session. We were up late hours. After the meeting was over about 12:30 am, there was a night owl. I think we finally made it to sleep around 3am. We were up by about 7 am to get breakfast and attend the morning session which lasted from about 10am to 2 pm, then there was time off and the evening started at about 7:30 to past midnight again. All the while, they were promoting to make it for Sunday morning. I was not really interested in going to the Sunday morning service, but I did. At that meeting, I first acknowledged Jesus Christ. I credit that as the place that I came to Christ, but I do not credit the organization because I was not listening to what they had to say and then future meetings, I discerned that they were teaching a false Gospel based on Health and Wellness, AKA Word-Faith. As stated in the introduction, this is not a spiritual document, but a social / financial document.

This was the month I officially started on Standing Order Tape and Book. I placed my first order with Quixtar and did 100 PV since this is what is taught. I used a credit card for the first time this month. Because of the ‘accountable to your upline’ part, I always did 100 PV minimum until 2003. I purchased from BWW this month (by BWW, I mean any tool provided by the upline, sponsor, or other person that originated from BWW) Two books, 3 tapes, attended 3 open meetings, 1 weekend conference, 1 team training, and bought 3 info packs (used to give to people after seeing a presentation). From Quixtar I placed 4 orders totaling 132.08 PV. I made no sales to any customers. I sponsored one leg.

The financial summary for January 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $261.80

Quixtar Income: $11.40

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $24.05

Income from Customers: $0.00

February 2001

This month had the first Rally I attended. I had a leg and now was all fired up and showing a few plans a week. I started to attend phone team on Sunday nights. I was listening to tapes and reading a lot of books. One thing that I noticed was that my grades in college started to suffer a little. I had my lowest ever GPA (for college) this semester mostly due to spending a lot more time out showing the plan, working many hours, and simply coming to the conclusion that college is useless and that this business is the only good thing in the world.

From BWW I bought 13 tapes (3 went to downline), 3 books (1 went to downline), 1 more info pack, and a few other small miscellaneous items. I attended 3 open meetings, 1 Rally/Seminar, and 1 Open Meeting. I also attended phone teams. I paid for a room for Spring Leadership. At the request of the upline, I bought enough room for four people at the Spring Leadership because I was told we are growing fast and would get those filled (I ended up having to pay the extra money for this room because we did not have anyone to fill the places and could not get a refund). I was also instructed to say I was one pin higher than I was because I would be there by then anyway. I have the receipt which in my own hand I wrote 100PV, then crossed it out and wrote 300 PV. The receipt is dated 2/24/01. I didn’t go 300PV until the last day of March. I did not make any sales to customers this month. I placed 3 orders through Quixtar at this time. I sponsored another leg this month.

The financial summary for February 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $374.78

Quixtar Income: $9.67

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $25.15

Income from Customers: $0.00

March 2001

This is the month that I went 300PV. I remember that night. We were at the upline Silver’s house on the last day of the month and the Emerald came in to do a Nuts and Bolts meeting (A meeting run periodically to teach some basic things to fast growing legs). In this case, he taught that the lowest person in a leg does not buy something that he could use, so the next person up does not, and the next, etc. He ended the meeting early to fire up the computer because people were feeling convicted. My downline was the lowest person in the room at the time, so he got on the computer first and placed another order. This put me about 30PV shy of 300 PV, so I went on and ordered a bunch of things (that I objectively did not need). I ordered Ginko Biloba, Mint Glister Spray, Black Pants, and a tie. This put me at 300 PV and we were all fired up. This went on up the chain from the lowest level to the highest level (under the Emeralds instruction) until at the end of the night, my downline was simply out a bunch of money, I was out $99.90 for the prestige of going 300. A bunch more pins changed that night as well. My sponsor or his (I don’t remember now) went 1500, three up from me went 2500, etc. The Emerald knew exactly what he was doing.

This is also the month that the date was set for the 1000PV and up Sawmill retreat. My upline Silver wanted to draw out a plan for me to make it. I was all open and did all I could, but over the next two months, I did not make it. This is also the month that I expressed concern that I was spending more than I was making (This was new to me; I had never used credit preferring only to pay cash. Interestingly, tools can only be paid for with cash, so I was using all my cash on tools and placing Quixtar orders on my credit card.) My upline told me to not worry about it because the platinum bonus would more than pay for any credit card debt I would incur.

I bought from BWW 20 tapes (8 went downline), 7 books (3 went downline), 1 video, 1 Spring Leadership Ticket, and a few other assorted items. I attended Spring Leadership, 2 open meetings, 1 team training, 1 nuts and bolts, and phone teams. I placed four orders through Quixtar and made no sales to customers.

The financial summary for March 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $258.87

Quixtar Income: $33.95

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $18.40

Income from Customers: $0.00

April 2001

I sponsored some people for my downline this month and last. From BWW I bought 19 tapes (7 went downline) and a few other miscellaneous items. I attended 2 Open meetings and 1 team training, an eagle team meeting, and phone teams. I placed about 6 Quixtar orders this month and made no customer sales.

The financial summary for April 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $122.86

Quixtar Income: $34.02

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $34.15

Income from Customers: $0.00

May 2001

This is the month that I was feeling like a failure. All of my upline were over the coveted 1000PV mark while myself and my downline were not. I did everything that I could, but I was not able to make it to the leadership training. Interestingly as I write this, I look at the bottom of one of my tool receipts and I see the phrase “Tool flow = Growth! Keep up the awesome work” (I was buying a lot of tools).

From BWW I bought 30 tapes (16 went to downline), 6 books (3 went to downline), 2 Open Meetings, 1 Rally/Seminar, 1 Team Training, 1 Eagle Team, and phone teams. I placed 4 orders with Quixtar and made no sales to customers.

Selected notes from trainings:

5/17/01

Joe Markiewicz Eagle Team

• The dream is the most important
• You must create a small time living [job] but use other time for creation of a lifetime [Quixtar]
• Get your eyes off yourself and pray to God and your problems will go away
• Results are determined by how you speak
• Percentages for everything is low, it doesn’t mean they don’t work.
• (structure + volume) x PMA = $
• You must have high standards

5/22/01 Training after an Open meeting

• The world is way to negative. People need to program positive into their lives. You must do the work and ignore the excuses
• Move and work by faith
• Read books on people relations and do a ‘checkup from the neck up’
• You ALL have a home town be it a town or a family; you must leave it sometimes to succeed
• Too much education leads to a job mentality
• Be an entrepreneur, not an employee
• Get tools to learn mechanics and build a dream
• Transformation leads to success; change is essential to get the job done
• Show the plan and get more people to show the plan
• Think about your dreams, not what you have
• Keep your eyes off your problems and on your goals
• Break the cycles which you were ‘placed’ into
• What if God wants it to be YOU [to succeed]?
• Get around people who are where you want to be in life
• Pressure in society is to do what everyone else does. You must be yourself

The financial summary for May 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $398.50

Quixtar Income: $37.33

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $31.20

Income from Customers: $0.00

June 2001

I had graduated in mid June. I hit the business hard by this time having my time from college freed up. I was under the delusion by this point in time that my college education was a waste of my time. BWW teaches that it [BWW] is the only true way to make it. I daily listened to Pigs Don’t Know Pig’s Stink or Passion by Dave Severn at this time to build up the motivation to go out one more night. I was working almost daily with downline from one of three legs as well as showing plans to personals. I worked this business as hard as you could. I studied the art of contacting and used it very often with results. I had the same problem that everyone else did. People would leave my business as fast as I could get them in. By this time, I was in total submission to the upline doing exactly what they said, so I was spending all my cash on tools and nothing else. Quixtar orders in credit cards were placing me further into debt.

I purchased from BWW 29 tapes (13 went to downline), 4 books (3 went to downline), and several other miscellaneous items. I attended Summer Conference (AKA Family Reunion), 3 Open meetings, and a Team Training with a guest. I placed about 3 orders with Quixtar and made no sales to customers.

Selected teaching from trainings:

6/15/01

• The future is in my own hands, nobody to help but me
• Listen only to those who are in life where you want to be
• Anytime you move to a new level, you will encounter obstacles, how you approach those obstacles is what matters

The financial summary for June 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $519.85

Quixtar Income: $41.59

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $26.52

Income from Customers: $0.00

July 2001

This was the big month. I hit the ‘believers pin’, that is 1000PV, earning my rights to the 1000 plus conferences. As I look back, a few of my downline may have been pressured into buying items from my upline. One order was placed on the very last day of the month which was when everyone was pushing for me to go 1000PV; my upline met with my downline for me (I was not present at this meeting). The next week or so that person returned everything that was purchased. I ended up spending a lot more than I needed to. My upline said that it was more important to go 1000 since it will motivate everyone else in my group. He did ask if I needed the things I bought, however, I said yes because of the big drive and excitement to get to this pin. That last order that put me there was 133.95 PV and cost me $272.24. At about 11:50 pm the last day of the month, I hit the coveted 1000PV and was soaring ahead, so I thought.

That month I bought from BWW 17 Tapes (18 went to downline; carry over from previous month), 8 books (4 went to downline). I attended 3 Open Meetings, and 1 team training along with phone teams. I placed 2 orders with Quixtar and made no sales to customers.

The financial summary for July 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $223.15

Quixtar Income: $178.10

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $31.90

Income from Customers: $0.00

August 2001

As I attended the Team Training this month, for the first time ever, the Emerald sought me out. He said “Let me shake the hand of the new 1000 PVer”. Prior to this, I could barely get him to say anything to me. This month, I moved, another one of my downline moved, one person returned everything and out right quit, and the business came crashing down to the old 300 PV structure. After this month, the Emerald never sought out to talk to me again. I had to go up and try to talk and even then he would say hello and then leave to talk to the next up and rising star. This is NOT jealousy, this is exposure of favoritism. I didn’t need an ego stroke by the Emerald, but this did let me in on what he looked for in people. Another thing during this first meeting was that I did 300 PV myself which is for praise (Though not enough to merit favor from the leaders, as I often did this volume).

I purchased from BWW this month 10 tapes (4 went to downline), 3 books, attended one rally and team training. This is the month that I moved, so I was no longer local to the team. I ordered about 5 times from Quixtar and did not make any sales to customers.

The financial summary for August 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $209.71

Quixtar Income: $36.33

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $40.58

Income from Customers: $0.00

September 2001

This was the month that BWW started to become truly emotional. I so desperately wanted to make it. I was out almost every night somewhere, often spending money I didn’t have in order to meet people. I was talking to just about everyone I could. I was trying to find the next leg. I was showing plans. I was tuning out about everything including my work responsibilities for the sake of this business. This is the month that I was appointed a fellowship position for my doctorate degree.

I bought from BWW 4 tapes and one book as well as the FED hotel room and ticket. I signed up for Communikate this month as well as buying ISP through BWW (I do not include the ISP in the totals since I would have paid for it anyway). I placed 3 orders through Quixtar.

Journal:

11/14/01

“I have been in ‘business’ for about a year now and have achieved nothing on the business end but have grown as a human being greatly. I can’t even believe I’m the same person and that is worth whatever it cost me to get there [I want to add a comment here that all this ‘growing’ had to be undone because it caused me to live with a very conceded life and one where I felt superior to other people, and suffered some consequences that I will detail later], but I still am going more and more into debt each day.”

“I have a business which can help, but something in me still is too afraid of sharing it with others; no matter how many tapes I listen to, I still can’t; I think I have the books to get it done, but I don’t have the study in place. I am lacking a plan, so I shall start in on one tonight…I need to start some charts, tables, and check lists so I can stay on track.”

11/17/01

“I’m not too sure where to start to describe my dream. I’m not sure where it is, but it’s up in my mind somewhere. I have been getting small pieces of it here and there. I think that I am still trying to overcome my final fears.”

“I know I have great changes to do if I really am serious, and I am serious. I have made great changes due to this business and I am continuing on. Now, it is time to make the next step, build the foundation, and grow this thing.”

11/24/01

“The bottom line is that too many people just get ready to get ready and never put what they learn into action. The goal is to put something, anything I learn into action. I must overcome fear, I must go the extra mile, I must read again, I must go again. I must persist, and I do.”

The financial summary for September 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $369.93

Quixtar Income: $11.20

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $28.65

Income from Customers: $0.00

October 2001

This month got me to drive 4 hours one way during the week. I think I arrived back home with enough time to get a shower and go off to class. I coveted this much driving on a week night because many of the tapes were suggesting this very lifestyle is what it takes to go Diamond. There was an attitude session with Rex & Betty Jo Renfrow and I was glad to drive. I was even so fired up that I made a few contacts on the way back and even made the drive out most of the way back a few months later to do a plan.

From BWW I purchased 3 Tapes and 1 Book. I attended the attitude session. I placed 3 orders with Quixtar and made no sales to customers.

The financial summary for October 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $158.18

Quixtar Income: $35.55

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $30.30

Income from Customers: $0.00

November 2001

This is the month that I found an old friend in the home town four hours away from my current home. I asked the upline if I should make the drive because she is not a very hot prospect. He said that this might be a test from God to see if I am serious about the business. Against my better judgment (since I was in submission to my upline), I drove out to do a plan and we scheduled a house meeting where she did not invite anyone. It was a total waste of time and sleep, but I was content to drive the miles for my dream. I made this drive two separate times, hoping she would have guests at the plan.

From BWW I bought 2 books and a calendar, attended team training and a Rally. At this time I started to buy a lot of books from Barnes & Nobel that were on the booklist because it was close. I placed 2 orders from Quixtar and made no sales to customers.

The financial summary for November 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $276.84

Quixtar Income: $10.14

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $18.90

Income from Customers: $0.00

December 2001

This is the month that I looked over my business for the first year. Why I didn’t quit at this time is beyond me, but it has to be that the tapes and books were so far in me that I really believed that all the people who were truly plugged in were going to make it, just like the upline said. Also the regular teaching of ‘don’t check results for two years’.

I attended an open meeting this month. I placed 3 orders from Quixtar. I made no sales to any customers.

The financial summary for December 2001:

BWW / Bus costs: $97.00

Quixtar Income: $12.15

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $28.82

Income from Customers: $0.00

2001 Year end summary

BWW / Bus costs: $3271.47

Quixtar Income: $451.43

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $338.62

Income from Customers: $0.00

Credit Card Debt: $3055.39 NOTE: I had a great deal of dental work this year, not all this debt is Quixtar, but the majority is directly from Quixtar or a Quixtar related purpose.

Mutual Funds(Assets): $4728.30

Student Loans: $5855.33

Net Worth: -$4182.42

Mind you that my job income DOUBLED during the middle of this year as I changed positions from a restaurant cook to a scientist.

The second year – 2002

The second year started and I did not have any concern for the serious loss of money because we were told that the facts don’t count and we should not check results until we had 2 solid years of working 5-6 nights a week. The funny thing is that the Emerald said he had never seen anyone in his group actually do that. With this in mind, when do you check? Never?

January 2002

This started the second year and I thought that my dreams were just around the corner. I did not pay attention to the fact that I lost a lot of money the first year, mostly because the Dream Weekend came again and I was getting all fired up again.

This month from BWW, I bought 5 tapes, one was a double. I bought 1 book from BWW.

The financial summary for January 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $240.90

Quixtar Income: $12.15

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $5.5 (I apparently lost an invoice, there is a $249.18 order placed 1/10/02, I estimate this would add $13.20 based on a similar sized order 5 months later)

Income from Customers: $0.00

February 2002

This month there was a rally in Erie, so I drove 416 miles for that purpose. This would become a common thing and people would look at me as an example driving so far for the business.

Journal Notes:

I wrote an entry dated 2/11/02 called “Business Contacts Remembrance” where I remembered an old manager at a Burger King I worked at being in Amway (this was 1997). He knew that I was taking vitamins, and he brought in a catalog. I saw that the prices were much higher than my current vitamins and I had no complaints about the ones I was taking. In this entry, I criticized his approach (making him out to be stupid) and I made such statements like: “No wonder I saw him 2 years later looking fatter than ever and failed. I can only assume he quit” and later about contacting I say “We pass hundreds of people every day who may be looking to either make money or shop at home and we walk right by unaware of them as they are unaware of us” I ended that note with “Just do it!”

This month from BWW, I bought 1 Rally/Seminar Ticket and 2 tapes.

The financial summary for February 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $42.64

Quixtar Income: $47.48

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $20.00

Income from Customers: $0.00

March 2002

I remember this month well. It is my birthday month and I would drive to a large mall over 50 miles away to try to contact people. I bought a movie for myself and could barely afford that. I made a commitment to myself that next year at this time, I would have a large group and lots of money and I could get something really good myself. I listened to Brad & Leslie Wolgamott Persistence & Achievement (FED7) and getting pumped. I probably made a few feeble attempts at contacting while I was there, but I don’t remember.

This month from BWW I bought 1 team training ticket, 1 info pack, a CD-ROM prospecting video, 2 books, and 2 tapes.

The financial summary for March 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $124.07

Quixtar Income: $7.56

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $9.80

Income from Customers: $0.00

April 2002

Sometime this year (probably a little earlier than this month), I started to get frustrated that I did not know people and had a hard time meeting people. I started to go out every single night to places to get a coffee or a snack. I spent a lot of time out just trying to meet people. I see one person on my contact list here that I met at a doughnut shop (he was an employee). This just emphasizes my frustration at trying to build the business because I did not know many people and the ones that I did know already told me no.

This month from BWW, I bought 1 Spring Leadership ticket, the hotel fee, 9 tapes, and a book.

The financial summary for April 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $278.34

Quixtar Income: $53.79

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $28.50

Income from Customers: $0.00

May 2002

This month was a month that I will probably remember for a while. I was frustrated with not having any clients, so I tried to organize an Artistry clinic and a few people in my upline were going to come over and help. I made the invitations from a template an upline gave me and handed out over 20 of them. I got absolutely no responses. That was scheduled for the 18^th. The following week was the 1000+ leadership, which I was invited to attend because I did 1000 PV in July 2001. I had absolutely no money which added insult to the fact that I had not re-qualified for 1000 PV since then. The Emerald did talk to me, but only in passing to the more ‘important’ people who were building it. We got to listen to the upline Dave Taylor during the weekend. I listened as he talked about doing a home meeting and commitment. He did start to go into people who reach the 1000 level and don’t do it again in a politely derogatorily way. It hurt me as I heard it and I was internally stressing myself as to why I could not do it again. It was made out to be my fault.

This month, I purchased from BWW 1 tape, 1 book, and hotel fee for 1000+ leadership in addition to two $4.00 ticket fees to get into the door, and a Rally/Seminar ticket. I made 1 customer sale.

The financial summary for May 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $343.35

Quixtar Income: $31.18

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $13.2

Income from Customers: $4.15

June 2002

I don’t remember much about this month. There was a conference; I think this one was in Virginia. I still did some plans and mostly was out just trying to get comfortable meeting people.

Journal:

6/12/02

“What makes us tick? Why are some of us motivated? Why are some fearful? How much of us is genes, how much is environment? Why is it so hard to change once we know something we do is wrong?”

“How will I remove my shackles?”

This month, I bought from BWW, the tickets and hotel for Summer Conference, 5 tapes, and 1 book.

The financial summary for June 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $371.29

Quixtar Income: $8.13

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $14.30

Income from Customers: $0.00

July 2002

This month had some travel, I went about 800 miles for business functions. This month I had a run-in with myself. I was stressed out over the fact I had a hard time contacting people. I went out the 4^th of July intent on meeting people. After nothing happened in a few hours, I went to the bagel shop and worked out a plan to meet some people. I went back to the 4^th celebration and forced myself to start talking to people. All this was to meet people to contact for Quixtar.

In addition to this, I was still determined to get customers and since the Home Shopping plan didn’t work [this is a plan that I devised to try to get people excited about home shopping using ditto delivery. I printed out fliers, etc with the Emerald’s approval], the Artistry clinic didn’t work, and I then counseled upline and laid down a plan for business to business sales. I walked up and down the street talking to all the businesses that I could but none were interested in even looking at the product line. This was adding to the stress that I had because I thought that I was the one not working instead of working a faulty business model. In preparation for this, I purchased several products that I certainly did not need and ended up giving away because they were virtually unusable to me. The orders totaled $106.68 of things that I did not need from Quixtar. I also bought a ‘Your going places with us’ training kit from another organization that was advertised at a conference that was to start selling incentive gift albums.

Journal:

Undated, but I believe this came from July, 2002, a piece entitled “My Personal Dream”. This is the introduction:

“Setting aside all other desires, I must first know what I want for myself. I must find in me that which I most desire to act as the fuel for my dreams, power, and motion. I shall now live with the philosophy I had as a youth: ‘believe, and anything is possible.’”

On 7/22/05, I wrote a poem inspired by the BWW system called “Life, what a beautiful choice”. It displays how deeply the promises of diamond are rooted in people and why they keep going back for more the system offers.

Life... What a beautiful choice.

Around the States, millions of destinations.

Oceans at east, oceans at west, oceans at south,

Blue-green water clear enough to visualize

Aquam vivo beneath the dancing waves.

At the west, the mountains high enough

To harbor snow in the hottest July day,

Skiing down the blue slopes of heaven.

In the East, the rolling hills of the

Appalachians yielding flora of varying degrees,

How I yearn to be there…

High on the great mountains, a peak topped

With white on the background and perfect,

Clear mirror of a lake outside my bedroom…

Across the great streams, typical flowing of

Waterfalls breaks the forest silence. How the

Children love to play under the falling aquam.

See how the river carved the great canyon…

Hold on, I’ll make an echo. Let us go down

There tomorrow and see the layers of the Earth.

In the northwest, the great trees of old;

The Redwood, Eucalyptus, forests

Wreak of the beautiful, calming scent.

Across the great plains, see the endless

Oceans of fields and the intermittent trees

Attempting to success the land to a cool forest.

Like the forests of the Northeast, bear,

Deer, animals great and small, clumsy and

Graceful. And the birds sing in the silence.

The deserts of the dry lands, hotter and

Cooler than anything. Laced with cacti

And dunes of sand. The fun exploring here.

And sulfur springs and grizzlies

Among the campers in Yellowstone,

Nature is perfect, just give it a chance.

And many more things undreamed by man,

But on this Earth created by the Great

Conceiver…Waiting for us to enjoy,

Why do you deprive yourself?

Why do you tie yourself down?

What is great about mediocrity?

Why let yourself die before you live?

Get out there and get the job done!

This month, I bought from BWW 6 tapes (1 double), 1 book, and 2 tickets for the Team Training (myself and a guest).

The financial summary for July 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $331.60

Quixtar Income: $7.62

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $27.70

Income from Customers: $0.00

August 2002

This month I had a Rally/Seminar and FED, so I drove about 800 more miles. This was the month that I pretty much gave up on the whole Business to Business plan and I went back to the same old contact people plan that is most recommended.

This month, I bought from BWW 1 FED ticket, 1 Rally / Seminar, 7 tapes (1 double), and 2 books.

The financial summary for August 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $286.67

Quixtar Income: $8.80

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $21.15

Income from Customers: $0.00

September 2002

I don’t remember much on this month. I did attend a team training meeting at 400 more miles.

This month from BWW, I bought the room for FED, a $70 starter pack [this is when the new starter pack format came out, they were highly promoting it at the meeting]. I also bought 1 Team Training ticket.

The financial summary for September 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $190.17

Quixtar Income: $6.41

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $13.95

Income from Customers: $0.00

October 2002

This month, I bought from BWW, 4 tapes.

The financial summary for October 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $106.52

Quixtar Income: $12.52

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $15.95

Income from Customers: $0.00

November 2002

Another team training and Rally in Erie at a distance of 800 miles total.

This month, from BWW, I bought 10 tapes (1 double), 3 books, and a Rally / Seminar Ticket.

Journal:

11/9/02

“I have read over 50 books and countless tapes over the year, but to no avail. It seems I am at the stage where it sounds fun, but I seem to lacking where the rubber meets the road.”

“My first observation [of this year] is that when I find myself in a timid spirit, I always come away regretful and full of shame.”

“Yet after all this above mentioned, I sit here tonight with the same feeling I get every weekend. I get so fired up I am intent on meeting 15 people to go 5-10 wide in business, I end up standing next to someone at a restaurant or bookstore, not saying a word. I leave the scene, and in disgust come back home to a depressing feeling of defeat and failure.”

“I find myself frequently inside of situations where I just would need to step out a little. My action in such situations (timidity) is proof I don’t have the faith I need. For faith should be so concrete that I don’t even think.”

“My faith seems to waiver due to a lack of conviction of my fear/faith ratio. Take note that all decisions are made based on three votes. The first is fear, this is a negative voice which always screams your past and limitations. The second is faith which tells you that anything is possible. It is the sweet voice which carries you to success if you listen. The third vote is your conscious choice, which is so confused by over stimuli all the time that it always votes whichever of the latter two are most convincing at times.”

“Today, however, another issue was struck. I had a guy talking and he asks the perfect question ‘What do you do?’ Like a robot, ‘I own my own business’, the same blasted thing I have been trying to stop saying. After some thought ex post facto, I seemed to have discovered something: The difference between knowing by mind and knowing by heart.”

“The major problem [of knowing by mind] is when that material needs to be rattled off instantly without thought (as you would in a contact); this phase is the ‘Uh huh’ phase described by Bill Hawkins [Prospecting for the 21^st Century]. It is to know the material by heart (i.e. NO MIND IS REQUIRED). Remember from above that the mind is confused from stimuli to make decisions on a ‘right now’ basis. So you must be able to contact in the absence of the mind, thus the material should be so well learned it comes out even when I don’t want it to.”

“We can all change and that change is due solely to us. We are to blame for our problems and we are credited for our achievements.”

11/14/02

“Freedom. It is what so many want, but so few are willing to work for it.”

11/16/02

[I will place a summary of this one. I was comparing my failures of boldness to other people I had met. I was trying to conform all of me to a perfect person that could get anything done for the business.]

11/19/02

“I stopped and considered today that I have had my hands on the best business opportunity in the world for almost two years. I have seen a month with a rather large check attached, but I checked my mailbox today and opened my performance bonus check: $6.33. I can retire on that alright! I have been living in some part of a dream for a while yet. A dream that if I don’t get my self in gear, I will never realize. It seems to me that it is convenient to live in the future with our heads than to truly get into gear, so I put together a thought which may be a little obvious.”

[The following is a letter that I wrote to myself in my journal during a time I was very frustrated that my business was not growing. As I recall I wrote it at an uplines house. I will put it in fragments like I do for the journals. The letter was entirely inspired by the BWW system. I believe that I wrote this after coming back from a team training.]

11/16/02

“Remember all the times those people teased you [referring to my childhood, as I was teased a lot]? I know you did not like it, but you are still alive! What is wrong with taking a little more of that to live the life which resides inside you. [I next totally misquoted a bible verse as it was misquoted to me]. With this said, how can you expect to join the team of winners in Britt if you don’t perform? But if you return to your roots of the past and once again accept the pain, you will be accepted into the greatest of teams.”

“You might have some struggles, but so does everyone else. The major difference between you and many others is that you have had a solution placed in your hands. It will never be the perfect time, so just start without worrying about all the details.”

“All the struggles you will have to go through to get your business off the ground will be worth it. You see, you struggle now, you might as well be struggling with results than without.”

“Do you know anyone who is currently truly happy at a job?”

“Be strong and don’t think. Get the business where it needs to be by just moving. Plant many seeds of success.”

“When working this business, speak the growth you want.”

“If you don’t talk to everyone you meet, you have no faith and are very selfish for keeping your business to yourself [this last comment is an exact phrase I took from my upline Emerald who said it many times.]”

“When you are speaking about your business, you need to be a little more bold and excited. How can you get someone excited about what does not excite you? How can you beat the sharks without being bold”

“A happy person can make another person smile, while an angry person makes others angry inside, so excitement, too, is contagious. Our excitement is bound up in our boldness, for it takes courage to speak against a tide. Remember that courage is doing what is right even while afraid.”

“Through all this, I hoped to expel the shackles which bind you and I pray that you will release yourself, for upon introspection, you will find the shackles are not locked. You have been free to remove them your whole life, if only you tried. Remember that it is not what is in the past which determines our future. It is our actions at present which lead us into the future, therefore, all you need to do is change your current actions and reap the reward for the courage to change. It will not be easy, everyone would be doing it and it would not be worth it in the end. You are not average, quit pretending you are.”

The financial summary for November 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $184.93

Quixtar Income: $6.33

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $9.95

Income from Customers: $0.00

December 2002

This month from BWW, I bought 6 tapes (1 double), 1 book, a flip chart update, and a Team Training. I made 1 customer sale. I made one retail sale.

The financial summary for December 2002:

BWW / Bus costs: $135.26

Quixtar Income: $9.67

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $7.95

Income from Customers: $0.00 (I sold one item this month at exactly my cost; of course I lost money because it went on my credit card and accumulated interest.)

2002 Year end summary

BWW / Bus costs: $2635.74

Quixtar Income: $211.64

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $187.95

Income from Customers: $4.15

Credit Card Debt: $9544.71

Mutual Funds(Assets): $1814.41 (I took some out to pay for some CC debt)

Student Loans: $5768.56

Net Worth: -$13,498.86

The Third Year – 2003

This marks the completion of my second year. I was losing money by the gross as it was being pumped into the BWW system for standing order tape, book of the month, IBO website, Communikate, functions, etc. This year is when I started to get a few regular customers, but still nothing compared to the costs. This year, early on, my last downline quit, thus dropping me back to the bottom of the line. I saw some growth, but decay always followed. Some lines seemed to solidify, but I saw people constantly quit, lots of new people came in, many lasted a few years, while some did not. My upline hit Platinum and then again decayed. Now, they are unqualified for that pin, though many of the between people (I saw one about 4 months ago) still talks about how his sponsor is going to be Silver this month (that seemed the case every month for four years, it has not happened yet.)

January 2003

This month started off with a Dream Weekend like usual. The functions came at 4 month intervals mix with Rally’s that also came every 4 months on off months from the weekend functions. The coffee went on sale for 50% more PV/BV. I ordered 8 cases to boost my PV up to 600. I was able to sell a few cases, but the price of it is very high for the quantity and flavor.

This month, I bought from BWW 6 tapes (1 double), 1 book, and the ticket, room, and bus for Winter Conference.

The financial summary for January 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $381.69

Quixtar Income: $7.64

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $19.95

Income from Customers: $5.92

February 2003

I traveled over 650 miles this month for a Rally and Team Training. My motivation was starting to dip in these months due mostly to the lack of money. My finances went downhill very, very fast.

This is the first month since I was in the business that I did not buy anything from Quixtar. From BWW, I bought 3 tapes, 3 books, and a calendar. I also went to a Rally / Seminar and a Team Training. I made 2 customer sales.

Journal:

2/20/03

[I wrote out this little list. It was inspired by either a book or a tape. I list advantages to building the business vs. disadvantages. It was meant to motivate me to build it.]

“Advantages: Time, Money, Freedom, Travel, Life (not existence), Friends, Adventure.”

“Disadvantages: Takes time to build, Requires going out of comfort zone, Takes some money to build, Time to learn.”

2/11/03

“God put me here, probably to create some Britt presence in this town”

“I was talking to a man yesterday but I never moved into asking if he was looking [for income opportunities]. He did say in the conversation that he liked his job, but I should have picked up a need (his car payment) to fulfill [The prospecting tapes taught us that if they did not express discontent, we should look for something financially to fulfill for them]. It seems that I used to be slow at thinking of the next step, but that is changing right now [this last sentence seems to be placed here for the positive confession material taught. I say this because I know that I don’t speak or write in this manner naturally].”

“It is nice having things to do [at work], but I would like to slow down at work and increase the business load.”

“I feel the dreamer within reawakening”

2/12/03

“I got home, got motivated with goal cards and Jim Brooks [The CD Free enterprise is alive; BWW102] and went out to Barnes & Noble. I met a man from England but I did not contact him. I yelled at myself on the way home”

“I saw the neighbor was home whom I talked to about coffee…I sold a case to him for $25, which is about $0.75 over wholesale (I should have gone up a little more).”

2/17/03

“Team Training on Saturday seemed to excite me yet to another level. I feel like I am ready to run, but have no one to run with.”

The financial summary for February 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $147.88

Quixtar Income: $106.62 (to get my performance bonus this high, I bought 194.88 worth of coffee).

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $13.95

Income from Customers: $1.28 (I sold 2 cases of coffee for $0.64 profit each)

March 2003

I did not make my goal from the previous year. I recall that I was not able to get myself anything this year because I had no money because everything that I made was either paying off credit cards or going to tools. The tools took all my money and I bought products on credit cards. I ran up high debts like this. The upline more supported buying products than staying out of debt. They did at times openly say that if money is tight on function months to go to the function instead of buy products because they are more important.

I drove 350 miles for a Dave Taylor attitude. This is the first function that my downline did not attend before leaving BWW. During this month, I was determined to have an open meeting at my house every week on Wednesday. I talked to people through out the week and invited them to come over to those. I can only think of one time where someone actually came over. I was using the other 6 nights a week out trying to meet people, but that usually just ended in failure

This is the second month that I did not buy anything from Quixtar. From BWW, I bought 8 tapes (3 doubles), 1 book, and a Team Training. I did not make any customer sales.

Journal:

3/4/03

“…I will sit and read a chapter in a book then come home frustrated that I got nothing done. When back home, I will usully dream about being a Diamond in the business, but this is usually wishful thinking….The problem is that I don’t do anything which gets me out of this pattern.”

“The weekends tend to frustrate me more than anything these days. I don’t seem to want the business bad enough to get out and simply meet dreamers.”

“The solution is simple, instead of just wanting to go home, I should migrate down to State College and go to a small restaurant out there or something else. I guess I just don’t want to bad enough, but I’ll try it tomorrow [note that this method was inspired by a Doug Weir tape; I do not recall which one, but he talks about leaving work and thinking ‘open for business’ and then going out contacting].”

The financial summary for March 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $172.66

Quixtar Income: $0.00

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $0.00

Income from Customers: $0.00

April 2003

Spring leadership was this month. I drove 411 miles. This month I cancelled the IBO website because I did not see any real benefit to it. From BWW, I bought 6 tapes (1 double), 1 book, and Spring Leadership. I made 1 customer sale.

Journal:

4/5/03

“In business, I have failed to this point in truly committing myself to learn the information on the tapes and seminars, so in effect, I have been trying to build the business with my own opinions and ideas. To solve this, I have started to study various aspects of the business. With these two goals in place, I am now moving on to a better and bigger place.”

The financial summary for April 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $335.46

Quixtar Income: $0.00

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $5.75

Income from Customers: $0.00 (I sold another item at my cost.)

May 2003

Another Rally; 407 miles. This was the first time that I was able to sell an item for full retail plus shipping, so I profited $7.10 from the sale. About this time, I started to listen to tapes all day at work. I was logging in the number of tapes I listened to every day at about 8-12 and I also logged books by title, reading in excess of 12-16 a month.

This month, I attended a Rally/Seminar and made 1 customer sale.

Journal:

5/17/03

“I signed up a member in the business the Monday before for just giving out a can of XS. I ran 100 PV worth of Client/Member volume and I have a goal of 150 this month.”

I next explained away my problems and failures in the business after reading a book. It all kept being my fault in my mind when I did not see growth in the business.

5/19/03

“It goes like this (and how many times have I already been told this); keep up pictures of what you want and focus on them constantly.”

The financial summary for May 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $73.77

Quixtar Income: $13.12

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $6.75

Income from Customers: $7.10

June 2003

This month I signed up a member that bought a lot of XS. I was making sales, but rarely profited from them. We had a summer conference as well. I talked to one of my upline about not going to the next 1000+ leadership because I didn’t have money and didn’t re-qualify for so long. He suggested that I should go because it would set me ahead and if I miss it, I would be set back some time from growing my business.

I remember at the function, I was still starting to work out some things in my life, so I was attending the meetings, but spending a lot of time in the room. I chose not to go out to the crowds to contact like most other people tried. We were sharing a room with a crossline (unqualified) Silver. He kept on trying to give me advice on how to do this or that. It was really irritating me. All he was doing is the same teaching as usual. Perhaps this was one of the early breaking away points.

From BWW, I bought 7 tapes (1 double), 2 books, and made 3 sales to members (at no profit, since that is what a member pays for).

Journal:

6/20/03

[Entry from the weekend function]

“The main thing I got out of the function was the power of overcoming. The aspect of leadership is important to the success of the business. The main think to do is to just talk to people and simply ask if they want to make more money. It seems a little simple, but some crazy inhibitions keep this simply easy to do task at bay.

The financial summary for June 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $315.49

Quixtar Income: $8.67

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $61.80

Income from Customers: $1.50

July 2003

I went up to Erie for a business party at the uplines house. I also made another trip up for a team training. In all, I drove over 800 miles. My credit cards at this point were right on the limit, often going over a little bit thus incurring an over the limit fee. I was borrowing from the cards to put cash in the checking account, borrowing from another credit card to pay off the first one. This cycle went on for about 2 or 3 months.

This month, I bought 6 tapes (1 double), 1 book, I attended a Team Training, made 3 retail sales, and 2 wholesale sales.

The financial summary for July 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $144.24

Quixtar Income: $44.76

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $0.00

Income from Customers: $11.60

August 2003

There was another Rally/Seminar and that is all I did this month. I was starting to feel a little disappointed at myself for not building this thing. I was out of money and continued on Standing Order. I did talk to the upline about money problems, but a good suggestion was to get another student loan to pay the credit cards down. That is what I did.

From BWW, I bought 7 tapes, 1 book, I attended a Rally/Seminar, and paid for the FED hotel room. I made 6 retail sales, and 1 member sale.

Journal:

8/11/03

“I will only speak what I want as if it were. I will NEVER speak what I do have which I don’t want. I can already feel success upon me. I feel the power coming into me from all around. I have no more fears to large because God is with me. The few fears I have are just signs to show me what I need to do. I act on them and conquer them with no problem. I feel the great wealth of the world upon me and I know my [dreams are coming true]. I am already powerful.”

8/23/03

“I have been using good speaking habits for several days now. An update: I have one more retail customer which I gained from a referral.”

“I read the first chapter of ‘Magic of Thinking Big’ just a few minutes ago. The topic was ‘believe you can succeed and you will.’”

“For a few years now, I have pondered how to re-instill [the dream to motivate me to build the business].”

“The ‘believe you will succeed and you will’ had some steps: 1. Be discontent with your situation; you have to hate it with all your might, heart, and passion. 2. Burn all your bridges; do not let anything else come in the way of you and your destination. 3. Know your destination; know beyond all doubt that you have an emotional place to be. 4. Do the work; whatever your opportunity, it has a price; do not count it, pay it! 5. Have faith of a better day; believe beyond all doubt that after the work has been done, you will have the goal you have been working toward”

The financial summary for August 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $167.66

Quixtar Income: $0.00

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $24.25

Income from Customers: $22.00

September 2003

This month, I got the loan and paid down some cards. I decided to now get the highly promoted and recommended One Domain site since my credit cards were down (this service replaced the less expensive IBO website system from before. This month I started to get really motivated for some reason. FED was at the beginning of the month. I drove a total of 1352 miles this month for various business related items.

The month, I bought from BWW the FED ticket, 4 tapes, 6 books. I made 4 retail sales and 1 member sale. As mentioned above, this is the month that I started back up on One Domain.

The financial summary for September 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $442.61

Quixtar Income: $7.59

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $30.70

Income from Customers: $14.40

October 2003

This month we had the 1000+ leadership in Rocky Gap. I drove about 750 miles for various business related things. I was determined now to build this thing. From all the books I was reading and tapes I was listening to, I reasoned that success was right around the corner. I renewed by IBO-ship for $61.20

This month from BWW, I bought 5 tapes, 1 book, and attended Rocky Gap (plus paid a hotel fee). I made 8 member sales (to 2 members and 1 referral through a member), and 2 retail sales.

The financial summary for October 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $244.30

Quixtar Income: $11.53

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $32.90

Income from Customers: $7.70

November 2003

There was an EDC Rally, Brian Herosian.

This month I bought from BWW 6 tapes (1 double), 1 book, a Rally/Seminar, and I made 4 retail sales and 6 member sales.

The financial summary for MONTH 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $132.25

Quixtar Income: $43.66

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $16.22

Income from Customers: $10.80

December 2003

This marked the end of the third year in BWW. My lack of results did not phase me. Somewhere around here, I started to hang pictures up around my house. Before I knew it, there were about 350 pictures in my studio apartment of large houses, fast cars, and covetous vacation resorts.

This month, from BWW, I bought 5 tapes (1 double), 1 book. I made 1 member sale, 3 retail sales, and gave out $17.74 in sample products

Journal:

12/14/03

“I have over the past few months, been involved in ‘competition’ with myself to get 12-15 books per month and 6-9 tapes per day. The major flaws I noted were: 1.) I walked around with headphones perpetually in my ears. I think it is very beneficial to listen to tapes in the morning, during dinner, or [at work]. It is not beneficial at times other than these because it closes me to the happenings of the world, which are critical for building the business. 2.) Too much time in books. I take time in the morning and evening for books, and also during lunch, however, times other than these, I am again closing myself to the world. Two hours per day is excellent and I shouldn’t feel obligated to go beyond that.”

“I found I am out a lot, but I do not have my attention on other people, which indicates I am not talking to people. I have successfully opened up to people in the past, therefore, I can do it again. I must focus on such”

The financial summary for December 2003:

BWW / Bus costs: $179.78

Quixtar Income: $10.88

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $32.32

Income from Customers: $8.59

2003 Year end summary

BWW / Bus costs: $2737.79

Quixtar Income: $254.47

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $244.59

Income from Customers: $90.89

Credit Card Debt: $6677.78

Mutual Funds(Assets): $2473.59

Student Loans: $11221.48

Net Worth: -$15425.67

Final Year – 2004

I did not save the shipping invoices for this year, so I don’t know the shipping costs. I also lost the original mileage files and calendar in a computer crash, but I was able to rebuild the profits / losses reports from the hard copies of receipts. I more or less quit the business slowly at the end of the year when my funds became impossible to support the tool system. Once I was no longer indoctrinated by the tool system, everything else went down from that. Once the influence was gone, I was able to see this system for what it was.

January 2004

I started out excited about the business. I had pictures up and I thought I had everything ready to move on and make a lot of money.

This month, I bought from BWW 3 tapes, 1 book. I made 5 member sales and 2 retail sales.

The financial summary for January 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $333.57

Quixtar Income: $7.06

Income from Customers: $7.20

February 2004

This month from BWW, I bought 1 CD, 2 books, and a large BWW calendar. I attended a Rally/Seminar and a Team Training. I made 4 retail sales and 1 member sale.

Journal:

2/18/04

“I set a goal at the conclusion of the last function (Winter Conference) to talk to 100 people about making extra money. With about 46 days to go, I still have 97 to go (i.e., I am not doing well). I keep trying goals, trials, etc. but I am running into difficulty. I decided to take an extensive walk like the good old days.”

“The dream kicked in because I had belief in what was said to me. What if I could channel this new found thought into other areas? It would work like this: If I talk to 100 people, is it possible that 50 will give me a way to get back together? I think that if I were asked that in this economy, I would say yes, so long as the person who approached me was not weird. At this, by dressing up sharp and acting appropriately, I can avoid this. Of 50 people, at least 25 will get together which gives me 25 plans. Assuming I can show the plan properly, lets see: 1.) set at ease 2.) Dream build 3.) Big Picture / 2-5 yr plan 4.) 6-4-2 5.) 5 point wrap up. I got that. I just need to stay calm.”

“Again, assuming I can show the presentation properly, at least 12 people would get in. Therefore, if I just go out and ask 100 people if they want to make extra money, I will (assuredly) get 12 legs, of which 3 will be active business builders.”

“There is no reason not to believe this plan, so the next point is to overcome fear. This is easy, when my belief in what I just wrote becomes high enough the fear will go away because it fades when faith opposes it.”

“The overall point here is that if I can’t contact, my belief in the business is too small, but since there is solid statistics in finding the builders, there is no logical reason why I can’t believe in this. The final point is this: Talk to 100 people to go Emerald, 200 people to go Diamond, 300 people to go EDC. Teach this principle and you will be CAM.”

The financial summary for February 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $93.47

Quixtar Income: $65.84

Income from Customers: $14.55

March 2004

This month, I bought from BWW 12 tapes, 2 books, I attended a Team Training. I made 1 member sale and 2 retail sales.

A few selected noted from the Dave Taylor Attitude 3/20/04

• Family always comes first
• Want a low IQ (I Quit)
• Most people have no concept of success
• Education is NOT the ticket [why are the tools, i.e. education so well promoted, then, just a thought]
• Success is how many people lived a better life because we lived
• Why toil all your life for the company store?
• We don’t invest our money, we invest our time
• Show the plan to people in their early twenties
• The dying starts the moment we get our first job
• No one will win this, they have to earn it
• If you can count to 6, you can go Diamond
• Our security is within our selves
• You can have your foot in the work world, but don’t give them anything else. Retract your foot frequently
• No one else will take care of you in the future
• Develop a friendship with people and then bring up business
• Real posture comes from total belief
• Negativity comes in freely if you don’t know what to block
• Cap the negative 1.) No more News 2.) No more garbage movies and magazines 3.) watch your associations; you are who you associate with
• Don’t associate with negative people
• Insanity is working for 45 years
• Steps to achieve: 1.) Get to 5 nights per week ASAP 2.) Do the 9 core steps as best you can. 3.) Use the three powers (Unity, Spoken Word, Submission)

The financial summary for March 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $234.47

Quixtar Income: $8.09

Income from Customers: $6.74

April 2004

This month from BWW, I bought 6 tapes, 1 book, I attended Spring Leadership with room. I made 1 member sale and 2 retail sales.

Bulleted notes from Spring Leadership:

Bill Britt

• Work hard, persistent, and consistent
• Poor people can not help poor people: The worst thing for poor people to do is to be around other poor people
• Poor people can not teach me to succeed
• We choose what we do. We are not bound by any circumstance
• The unseen controls the seen
• The battle is God vs. Satan
• People need to fix their broke brains
• God is no respecter of persons
• Power is in the spoken word
• The creator must be greater than what is created
• Vision is the window to the future
• Speak what you want before you get it

Charlie Durso

• Help other people solve their own problems and your will go away
• How to tell a leader: They have a following
• Five nights a week for two years with the proper foundation

John Sestina

• Most of us got in for the money, myself included
• Our profit is for our own profit
• We are directly rewarded for what we contribute
• It is my business, the success or failure is up to me
• The quest is more important than the money

Bill Britt (again)

• Business works for whoever makes it work
• The negative is all around us. Dissociate from it
• My brain can be used for great negative or great positive and it is all up to me
• How many are better off because we were in others lives
• Everyone lives at the level they speak. No exceptions
• To find a wife, sponsor her firs

Don’t know speaker

• 3 powers: 1.) Unity 2.) Spoken Word 3.)Submission
• Be the same person all the time

Frank Mikolas

• Have fun the whole time
• Keep the faith
• Just do what needs to be done
• Challenges occur all the time
• Some seed of faith will carry us through
• True commitments will cause us to overcome bad habits

Hardy

• You must walk by faith the first two years. Build in fertile ground, don’t check for results.
• Fertile ground is: 1.) God’s word 2.) 9 core steps 3.) 5 nights / week 4.) 3 Powers 5.) Right people

Dave Taylor

• We are competing with the negative world for input
• We must live in the world, but not let it drag us down
• We must conquer ourselves before we conquer the world
• The business must get into the heart before it will work

Angelo Nardone

• Don’t listen to ignorant, negative people, they don’t understand the business

Rex Renfrow

• Stand up to all the challenges; only God can make me stop
• Get started and don’t stop
• Free your heart from hate and your mind from worry
• The negative people want to put you down so you do not succeed

This is a good summary, but I have more from this conference.

The financial summary for April 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $328.37

Quixtar Income: $0.00

Income from Customers: $7.20

May 2004

This month, from BWW, I bought 5 tapes, 1 book. I attended a Rally/Seminar. I made 1 member sale and 3 retail sales.

Journal:

5/1/04

“I came to a thought of ‘no excuse’ I wanted to discuss a little. My lack of results could be placed directly on me. I don’t take it too hard because I have all the crap from the past to sort out….I will overcome successfully and that’s it! Period! [This is how Bill Britt talks, not me!] I realized that I am in better hands of mentorship than many people. Who could teach the business better than Double Eagle Emerald [upline]?”

The financial summary for May 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $191.24

Quixtar Income: $7.63

Income from Customers: $10.80

June 2004

This month, from BWW, I bought 2 tapes, 1 book. I made 1 retail sale, and 2 member sales.

The financial summary for June 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $302.40

Quixtar Income: $8.19

Income from Customers: $3.60

July 2004

This month from BWW, I ordered 6 tapes. I made 2 retail sales.

The financial summary for July 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $86.59

Quixtar Income: $5.20

Income from Customers: $5.20

August 2004

This month, I attended a Rally/Seminar. I started a client who ordered 5 protein bars for $10.00, which was $0.40 per week profit. This continued until I ran out of bars and then I stopped getting them for him because it was costing me more to get them (after credit card interest) than to sell them.

The financial summary for August 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $47.63

Quixtar Income: $7.96

Income from Customers: $2.00

September 2004

This marked the ending of my time in BWW. I needed to get a car which required me to reroute money to it. The only option I had was to quit standing order, functions, and the seminars, though I desperately did not want to. In the end, I recognized the problems with the system and the business as a whole. I quit and terminated all clients as soon as I had no more movable product that they bought.

The financial summary for September 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $37.31

Quixtar Income: $0.00

Income from Customers: $1.60

October 2004

The financial summary for October 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $37.59 (Last month on Communikate and One Domain)

Quixtar Income: $8.65

Income from Customers: $1.60

November 2004

By this time, I was neutral about the business. I recognized my losses, but still kind of missed the system. I would be about 4 months later that I recognized the pains that it has caused me.

The financial summary for November 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $ 0.00

Quixtar Income: $8.60

Income from Customers: $2.00

December 2004

The financial summary for December 2004:

BWW / Bus costs: $0.00

Quixtar Income: $0.00

Income from Customers: $1.20

2004 Year end summary

BWW / Bus costs: $1692.64

Quixtar Income: $127.22

Income from Customers: $63.69

Credit Card Debt: $6324.48

Car Loan: $5593.33

Mutual Funds(Assets): $1036.28

Student Loans: $16733.20 (This is an estimate, there are a few accounts that I don’t have a hard copy of the reference.)

Net Worth: -$27614.73

Other notes

In the total stay in BWW, my net worth went from +$2244.93 to -$27,614.73, mostly due to expenses in the BWW business. The 4 years that I spent in BWW, these are the costs:

BWW / Bus costs: $10,337.62

Quixtar Income: $1,044.76

Quixtar Shipping Fees: $466.16 (Note this only 2001-2003)

Income from Customers: $158.73

According to my credit card statements, I spent about $15,003.88 on purchases through Quixtar. Some of these were products I used, some were to get to pin levels. I can show, however, that all of these products are vastly overpriced.

Undated and Unknown Journal entries:

[This piece details the internal pressures I had to contact]:

“How many times have I come home and sat down trying to get ready to go? How many days was I in a room full of people and come back knowing none? How many times have I talked and never brought up business? How many days have I labored pains of debt but could be free? I know that failure eminent of continuation, yet I still feel the fear of bringing up the subject. Was I ever shot at? Have I ever been told ‘go away’? Why this pain? What about the feeling I get when I a number? Even when I get a ‘No’? Obviously, the problem is me…why? Who cares…Just do it!”

[This is most likely between February and April 2003 because it is between those two entries, however, this particular journal does jump around a little bit. It is directly inspired by a tape]:

“Joe Marciewicz said on “Escape from Captivity” that of one aspect of life is correct, all others will fall into place. This goes to follow that if any area is out of place, the others will fall out; point is thus: do everything with the motivation of God, and everything will be blessed and fall into line. Don’t let anything else slip and fall.”

Undated notes from a team training

• Don’t look for lazy people, find ambitious ones.
• The entire business is up to you
• You can create your desired future with your words of your mouth
• Reading, Listening, and Attending is the lifeblood of the business
• Be excited; if I don’t show the plan, someone else will
• Listen to the words people say; Qualify people, then cycle through them
• Always ask of upline, not tell or inform!
• Many people think they are customers of Quixtar, not IBO’s of the corporation

Another undated team training; I think this was the last one I ever attended

He gave an assignment to see how teachable we are. The Emerald asked us how many people were on MCI. (Only a handful of hands went up), and then he gave an assignment: For those who are not, get on MCI; there is a promotional and you will get 200 points if you do that. [I don’t know how many people did get on MCI, I know that I didn’t because I didn’t even have a home phone and had no intention, or money for that matter, of getting one.]

• Power of Spoken Word:
• Write what you said
• Write out the correction
• Feed the corrected words
• Hear yourself speaking
• Watch everything you say
• The future of your business is in your hands, and you must start new with what you have
• Unity:
• Don’t let excused keep you from succeeding
• Holding down yourself slows down everyone else on the team
• You are with or without the team: It is one decision
• Make a decision to STP 5 nights per week
• Unification shows in your face
• Submission:
• Defined as the ability to use a multitude of counselors
• The person with the most submission is the most powerful [I have no idea where they are getting these definitions and descriptions from. They are flat scary]

Cards:

Over the time the business, I received a few Christmas cards, and several congratulations cards as I moved through the levels. I also even got cards from Go Diamond, Q12, and things like that from the upline Platinum and Emerald. Where are the cards now that I left? Where is the contact from these ‘friends for life’? Except for my best friend from many years back and one other person who was crossline, I have not heard from anyone in the business since I left except the upline Platinum who responded to a few emails that I sent. In those, One asked me if I needed to order anything because another upline is pushing for Silver. I am waiting now to see how long it might go before they contact me for anything.

Self talk cards:

The business teaches self-talk so much and that the only way to make it is to use this method. I had a bunch of cards in my business card wallet that I looked over several times per day. Most were self-talk. These are them:

“3 Steps to Contacting

1. Know that everyone you meet is looking for financial diversity.

2. Write down / memorize lines.

3. Practice constantly.”

“8 Steps to Contacting

1. Be genuinly interested in the other person, but your objective is to contact him.

2. Expect people to be interested; be excited and have conviction.

3. People only respond to you based on their own self image, not on yours.

4. Listen for needs and use those needs to set up the approach.

5. Every situation presents the opportunity to meet someone new.

6. Always answer a question with a question.

7. Know that you have the best business in the world and that it is up to you to let people know that something better is out there.

8. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, they only make you stronger.”

“Steps to make a decision

1. Focus immediately on the ‘No Lose’ model [from ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’, Susan Jeffers, ISBN#0449902927]

2. Find out all your options

3. Establish your priorities

4. Trust your impulses

5. Lighten up. The decision will not kill you

After the Decision

1. Throw away the picture

2. Accept total responsibility for the decision

3. Don’t protect, correct.”

[I had a card with a bunch of beaches of one side and a bunch of symbols representative of work on the other side with a vs. in between them. This was a means of suggesting that I could choose work or freedom. I had another card that was basically the same thing in words.]

“Contacting line to memorize:

I can’t go into details here, but briefly, we are expanding the customer base to a variety of businesses both online and offline with your income based on the volume of sales generated. What is a good way to get a hold of you so that I can get you the rest of the information?”

[One card was ‘the 5 truths about fear’ that are detailed in ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’]

“I remember all my contacting lines at all times and am very good at thinking on my feet. People are always glad to tell me their needs and I always come up with a good contact line from those needs.

I constantly practice contacting. I have absolutely no fear in contacting what so ever

When I am in the presence of other people, I am always calm, relaxed, and quick thinking. I have complete control over what I do and I choose to help others by helping their finances.

I know beyond all doubt that I have the best business in the world and I excitedly tell others about it with great conviction. The people I speak with sense that I am going somewhere and they want to come along.

I meet someone new in every situation. Not only do I meet people, but I also contact them. People are looking and I show them the plan.

I have achieved all my contacting goals for the month and my counseling sheet shows as such. Because I contact so many people, I always show 20 or more plans in a given month.” [This self-talk is under the category of ‘fake it until you make it’, because it never came true].

“I anticipate the growth of my business at all times. I know beyond all doubt that I have succeeded in creating a world wide business team.

Everyone I see is looking for an opportunity to make more money and I tell them about the perfect model to help them with their dreams.

Every single month, I grow more successful by growing by leaps and bounds, not just simple addition.

I talk to people every day and everyone is looking. I show 25 plans every month and every month I change pins with proper structure.

I am an eagle with three eagle legs and I have reached my goal of Platinum Producer.

I know beyond all doubt that everyone is waiting to talk to me and I know that my bills are being paid off as soon as I get the bill in the mail. I have several thousand dollars in the bank.”

Note that all of these self-talk phrases are in direct accordance with ‘What to Say When You Talk to Yourself’ (Shad Helmstetter, ISBN#0671708821), which is a cornerstone book to the BWW team.

Conclusions

In final conclusion, the effect that BWW has had on me is staggering. Though the system is ‘optional’ as they say, they also tell you that no one has made it without the system. Further, this business is taught to be the will of God. I don’t remember a function where Rex Renfrow (at the top of our team) did not offer an end of function statement which included the following: 1. He would say that if you didn’t think the function was worth it, talk to him and he will refund your money, however, you should also quit the whole business after that. 2. He would follow that by saying that this business is in alignment with the will of God and ask the question ‘Why would God NOT want you to do this?’ “With this”, he said, “you can lead people to him, solve their money problems, get them free from a job.” Next, if you are dabbling in the system, don’t ask for your uplines help unless you are fully committed to the system, because that is the first thing they recommend. I got in because I wanted to make money. Since I have never run a business, I wanted to take advice from people who have, so I did what they recommended. I bought tapes, books, attended seminars, and all of these are ‘cash only’. The only real teaching that the system does consistantly (the majority of it is motivation) is to do 100PV at least in products and teach others to do the same. For that, I used the credit card. I did bring up the issue about not liking to use the credit card, but I was assured that the Platinum bonus would pay those off. Paying the price was the ticket to freedom, and that required the system AND the products.

In the end, I can not credit BWW for anything but the loss of $25,000. As I reflect back, I would be 100% debt free today, but instead, I will have to pay off loans for several years. I want to save people this stress. In summary, these are the points that BWW did to me and I will have to work hard to correct them:

It taught me to buy on credit

It taught me to covet material things

It taught me to get things to impress people so they would want to find out what I know (i.e., a platinum for the Gospel, as Danny Snipes often says)

It taught me poor work habits and ethics while on the job

It taught me to spend money out at coffee shops hanging out to meet people

It taught me to look like a fool trying to meet people at every party, social gathering, etc for the ever continuing expanse of building my business

Appendix

The 8 Team Player Steps

1. Listen to a Tape a Day; be on Standing Order Tape, about $6 a weeks (price raised to $7.50 by the conclusion of my time)
2. Read a Book a Month; be on Book of the Month, $10-12 a month
3. Attend all meetings; $3 for opens 2-4 times per month; $6-10 for trainings once per month; $100 + travel for four conferences a year; $10 for Seminars four times a year.
4. Be Accountable to your Upline
5. Be Teachable from your Upline
6. Use and promote the products
7. Show the Plan (STP; later was changed to the terminology Share the Presentation) 3-5 times per week.
8. Develop Members and Clients; 50 PV per month (This step was often downplayed and cast aside)
9. (Added later) Be on Communikate; $25-35 per month. (BWW’s own telecommunication system)

The 3 Powers

1. Power of Unity: Be totally unified to the team and subject to its teachings. Don’t try to do anything new or to reinvent the wheel
2. Power of the Spoken Word: All things will come together to the level that you speak. Only speak the positive things you want and never speak the things you have that you don’t want.
3. Power of Submission: Always be in submission to your upline(s). Whoever has more submission has more power.